My biggest influencer in life has been my religious background.  Through the years, I had always felt a close relationship with Jesus Christ that grew stronger at some points, weaker at various times as well.  I came to this conclusion through my emotional struggles and life hardships: our faith will be tested and in desperate times especially we are more prone to attacks. I especially see this more clearly now.  I had chosen to take a Christ like venture over the past few years and I now have a firmer understanding of what he sacrificed and endured. We all have our influencers and backgrounds, whether it be Christianity, no religion, political, Buddhist, or an organized group of alliances.  I have recently been conflicted as to where I wanted to bank my chips so to speak.

     As Christ befriended all types of people, the sick, the poor, the rich, the lonely, the elderly, the children, the sinners as the holy bible describes, and the strong and spiritually grounded, he became more aware of how strong his spiritual convictions were and how connected he was to God.  If Christ were to come back in time to these current days, I feel he would do the same thing yet with a different approach based on how his last attempts to unify and spiritually connect people went.  He knew he was called to a purpose not only by what his mother Mary and father Joseph told him, yet also because his ties to the Divine were and continue to be very strong and solid.

    I feel God chooses certain people, situations, and desperate times, to work through people or others means.  I took a big hit in my spirituality over the years, and I finally realized my approach needed a lot of work.  I hadn't yet experienced life in diversified ways to truly understand the melting pot of culture, religion, ethnicity, and the physically and mentally challenged people and animals. I felt my eyes open wider and became fully awakened inside in spirit and mind amidst my exploration efforts. It took a toll on my emotions and exhausted my energies at times, yet all in all, I don't regret my decisions as much as I feel driven and ever much more so passionate about my future. There had even days I wanted to throw in the towel and I have cried like a baby, to the point I grew inside and have had a breakthrough of some sort that I can't explain fully right yet.  I am thankful to be alive after that emotional turmoil, and I will never take life for granted again. I feel I spent too many years not appreciating the simple things in life that give it the most meaning. Although it significantly anguishes me to see or feel other people's pain, hardships, and suffering of all sorts, I am now better aware of how important it is to balance our energy between the source and submitting in life with proper rest, established routine, diet, fitness, medications or remedies when needed and helpful, and socializing and attempt to strive for heathy relationships in all we do each day. Although that isn't always easy I understand nor is it entirely possible at times, all we can do is try our best to make small steps and goals at times along the way. This is when we will start to feel the change ignite and leaps and huge strides in our endeavors become possible. Imagination is sparked and comes to life when we dare to dream and open up our minds and hearts again.